One of the times I recalled that a child was reprimanded after pointing out someone they saw as different actually took place a church. A very huge man walked into church late one Sunday. He had to be about 500 or 600 pound or better. There was limited seating available based on the time the man got there. This one little boy blurted out “That’s a very fat man I wonder where he’s going to seat on the floor because we don’t have a chair that can hold him.” Needless to say all of the children thought his comment was funny and laughed their little hearts out. A lady in the church grabbed the little boy by the arm and told him that was very disrespectful. She went on to yell at him that she was going to tell his grandfather on him because that type of thing was not going to be tolerate at church. The strangest thing is I really don’t think the little boy meant it as joke he was inquiring as little children do about where the fat man could sit. I think it blown out of proportion because of the man’s size and the other children perception of the child comment as joke.
Based on the lady’s reaction the little boy quickly learned a lesson in the way things could be misconstrued. Therefore it is important to be mindful of the way you say things especially at church.
An anti-bias educator might have responded to the little boy by saying that we are all alike just different (Derman-Spark &Edwards, 2010). The educator could point out that everyone needs a place sit even if you are overweight and to refer to the floor for a person to sit at when everyone else is sitting in chairs or pews is insensitive. Pointing out that referring to someone’s weight can cause a person to feel bad whether they are really skinny or fat. Then explain that we all are different although we seem to be the same. In addition to highlighting that our apparent differences are the things that make us unique and that there is no reason for a person to degrade our uniqueness. This would help the child to think about what he has done and realize that no one should intentionally or unintentionally cause a person to feel bad because of an apparent uniqueness.
Reference:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Kvonya,
ReplyDeleteYou are right that we need to highlight our differences, because they are things that make us unique. Far too often people and children think we need to be the same and we don't. We want every one different because it is what makes our world so special!
Abby
Kvonya,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I also believe that it is important to teach children about differences and to accept those differences for it is those things that make us each special. What a lesson the little boy had to learn in church. It is a great example of how our words can be turned around.
Hi Kvonya,
ReplyDeleteInteresting and not uncommon incident. I wonder if we attach negative attributes to issues of large size that it provokes such emotional responses. Society supports this bias with denying passengers a place on an airplane and comedians are not chastised for using this as content. Seems like as we introduce an anti bias perspective we will be teaching ourselves some lessons as well.
Thanks for your post.
Bobbie
Kvonya,
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate your story, as an educator since I can't remember the last time something like this DIDN'T happen. Meaning, children say what they think, every single day. And unless someone tells them otherwise, they will continue to do so. Hopefully, through positive experiences, children learn what is and is not appropriate.
Thanks for such a thoughtful post,
Trish Gardini :)